get the eff outta my face!

I was debating whether or not to blog today. many times there's this torrent of emotions/thoughts/feelings rushing through my whole being but i'd rather snuff out the urge to write coz i'm afraid that i might sound incoherent (ok laa...half the time it's becoz i'm too lazy/tired after coming back from work). And i'm not exactly a 'public' person, as in, i'm not really comfortable with telling all n sundry everything about myself, all the time. that's why i have a dozen of journal entries that i don't publish in my blog. But, twisted as this might sound, there's a certain kind of satisfaction knowing that there are ppl out there that are reading your penned thoughts, and possibly empathising with you...

Among the torrent...

that bitch! i can't believe her audacity! i am, after all, a customer, even though it was just a simple coffee shop. Was having lunch with colleagues, and the owner of the coffee shop was bantering with them (my colleagues are obviously regulars). Out of the blue, she paused, looked and me and said, "she's got a pretty face...but what a shame she's got bad skin". I lost my appetite. my immediate reaction was 'what the fuck' (not aloud, coz there were some mommies there who i think would swoon at that). hey, I KNOW, okay. it's enuf that i stare in the mirror everyday and curse that i still have to deal with this 'adolescent problem' when i'm way past adolescence. i don't need u, a total stranger, saying this in front of an audience. i'm painfully aware already. It's not like i wallow in self-pity and insecurity and ppl need to feel like they have to tiptoe around me on skin issues. no. I'm pretty much comfortable in my own skin, bad as it is. Yes, it IS infuriating, exasperating, sickening, and whatever -ing u can think of, to try all sorts of stuff/methods to try to make it better, only to find that none of them really works. Or that they demand a fortune first before starting to show effects. hey i ain't got the money to buy SKII or wateva gimmicks that they have packed in pretty glass bottles out there on the counters. So get outta my face!

And stop asking if i have a boyfriend already. Okay, you can ask. But DON'T give me THAT look. If you got prospects, give me the prospectus. otherwise don't waste time analysing me. Am i an anomaly to be still unattached at this age? I don't think so. Ssin said, "try juggling the 4 B's: Boss, Business, Boyfriend, Besties". Isn't it easier to juggle just 3 B's for the moment? If it comes, it comes. I'm not avoiding it, neither am i looking very hard for it. Not that i have the time to go specifically looking for one anyway. And mom, just because i wanted a puppy doesn't mean that i'm on my way to becoming a spinster okkaaayyy...! No mom, i'm not gonna be one of those little old ladies who go 'come here boy, come to mommy' to their pooches. Yes mom, i AM gonna get happily married one day and hopefully keep you busy with a couple of cute grandchildren. But till HE finds me, i'm contented to enjoy my freedom, thank you very much.

I wanna go to Mardi Gras this Friday night!!! *wails* But i gotta work *WAILSSS* Some silly karaoke cum appreciation dinner watchamalit. Ok, so it's a corporate event. But it's MY friday night!! I have to deal with customers all week. Customers who are puffed-up and go 'oh-i-am-so-clever-and-important'. All i have to call my own are my weekends. Can't you all just let me be? *groans* And no, don't you label me an 'usherette'. Is there even such a word...*roll eyes*. Brings to mind a silly doll-like creature in a pink tutu. And NO, don't you DARE make me wear a costume!! I WILL stamp my feet and scream till YOUR face turn blue. For gawd's sake...we are bankers here, not some......ugh!

Am i overreacting? maybe.

This is MY punching bag...